So, as a means of staying abreast of the propaganda machines behind both the Elephants and Donkeys, I follow both Barack around the Clock and his opponent the Baseball Glove on facebook. I do so, mostly out of morbid curiosity to see how both contenders to become the figurehead of figureheads embrace social media and what bullshit their publicity staffs run across their official feeds as their status updates. I follow a number of political figures, for that matter, Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee being two former or current Presidential candidates. It's both refreshing and disgusting at times to read each post that supposedly comes right from the fingers of the man in question. I will say it beats the living shit out of the politically motivated fan boy pages like "Things that piss off Liberals" or "Freedom Watch" or "Right Change" which were created to perpetuate what passes for political discourse in this country.
It is no longer acceptable to disagree philosophically and discuss that disagreement in a respectful tone on either side of the issue. No, we must first label each other as "Liberal" or "Conservative" then we have to equate those words with other more nefarious words like "Communist" or "Fascist" to make them more insulting. We'll then spend about 5 minutes interrupting and talking over each other before dismissing each other as "idiot" or "moron" or "redneck" or "elitist." We've taken politics and turned it into a sport of two teams competing for the White House. Also, for reasons we can't fully articulate, we love and root for one side versus the other. We believe our side to be the way of the Jedi and the other to be the Dark Side of the Force.
Even if you're like me and detest both parties for the money grubbing, criminal entities they are, you'll quickly be lumped into one of the two camps if you so much as criticize one side or the other. It's almost like thinking for yourself became too hard, so we rely emotional stimuli to rope us into one side and we stay loyal to that side even if they're lead by people that wouldn't piss on us to put out a fire. Both parties may as well partner with Nike to market jerseys and New Era to market hats, and we need to emulate the UK and start putting odds on the winners and an over/under on votes cast, because it's a two participant race for the lifetime healthcare and Secret Service guard detail. The issues stopped mattering sometime in the past 20 years and it became about voting for someone you "liked" or was "well spoken" or "you wanted to have a beer with." Most of the guys I do drink beer with, I want nowhere near the launch button on a ICBM with a nuclear payload, sorry folks.
Hell, I have a very high opinion of myself, and I don't want that sort of responsibility. Initially, it would be quite the ego boost to realize that you had the power to obliterate entire cities with a few phone calls and emails, but with that power comes the responsibility of being held accountable for destroying entire cities.
My particular favorite posts from the contenders are the ones where they test out buzzword-heavy, slogan-esque short posts and try to sound profound. I will warn those of you reading that plan on voting for Romney, and I will be attacking and dissecting his post from this evening. Not because I think he's a walking, talking microcosm of American aristocracy gone horribly wrong, which I do, or because he has the most ridiculous hair outside a comic book villain in history. It's because what I saw was a complete garbage thought that Hallmark card writers would wipe their ass with. To wit:
Today, we are united not only by our faith in America. We are united also by our concern for America.
He makes two classically false assumptions. First, assuming that we, as a nation of individuals, are united over anything is to ignore simple facts like bath salt smoking zombies in Florida and stoned mothers driving down the street with their infant on the roof here in Arizona. There are people out there actually believe Jeff Dunham is a brilliant comic, or that Larry the Cable Guy isn't some stupid character dreamed up by a preacher's kid from Nebraska because being the slightly tubby, Midwestern version of Uncle Joey on Full House wasn't paying the bills. Some people actually think the culture of the United States should be "the Constitution," that the native tongue of this land is English, and that having been born here, and only having been born here somehow elevates their standing across the globe. If I wanted to unite with any of these people for a greater good it would be to have me excommunicated from their little club and sentenced to a life surrounded by nothing for miles but trees and rolling hills and family.
Besides, 'united' is a nice buzzword, but politicians and the machines that carry them to their success don't want to unite us. They want us a fractured and ignorant as possible so they can sell us their hokey vision of 'family values' and 'community' and 'hope' and 'change' for a 'new American Century.' The more afraid they make us of their competition, the more beneficial it is for their careers, and make no mistake about it, the job of a politician is to scare you into voting for him or her. Once they're elected, they're golden. A sweet pension and benefits just for reaching a rarified level of smarmy condescension.
Secondly, the assumption that anyone has any faith in America, let alone the people that comprise it has to have lived my 35 years on this planet on some amazing drugs while locked in a Siberian Gulag.
I believe the majority of people in this country to be self centered, egotistical, and selfish children. I carry this belief because I view myself as normal, and if I'm as petulant and self absorbed as I'm accused of being, then half the country are bigger douche bags than me. The only thing about America that I have any faith in is the military. Our "leaders" don't lead, they line their pockets by making it easier for their corporate sponsors to bilk us out of not only the money we work to earn, but any shred of human dignity or pride in a career where we feel personally invested in the work we complete.
The way we treat politics in this country saddens me, because no matter who wins the race, the majority of us lose.
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